Oh my God, I’m just like Pilate O_o

There are several places one can go with this. For instance:  I’m constantly putting Jesus on trial and demanding him to answer the “why’s” in my life; or, Even though I have the power to stop it, I really don’t wanna deal with the consequences of this hard decision… so I’ll leave it up to the ones who are obviously overreacting and wash my hands of it. Both things I have done. Multiple times.

The direction I’m heading is: I was just fine dealing with my halfhearted convictions until I ran into Jesus. In John 18:33-37, Jesus is before Pilate. Pilate is having a hard time understanding why it is that Jesus is not defending himself. “Why does this man not get that I can kill him or save his life?”

Where I am like Pilate: Because of all the things I have been learning I have tried to be inclusive and open minded, however when I encounter the conviction of Jesus I am left with the realization that I have become lost. I have let go of some truths.

The good part: But, good news! If Jesus’ conviction stops you in your tracks, you can turn and run the other way, back to the things you left. There are truths that we must find in God, and some no one else can find for you. But they are there. Do not give up. Some days I still am much like a dumbstruck Pilate. But hey, I’m not done growing yet.  

Done trying to be Divine

I realized something the other day whilst thinking of this blog (that I have failed to add to in almost a year); I have been so worried about producing something profound that I felt nothing was good enough. Well I apologize, because that fails my whole premise of simply trying to state observations and vent frustrations.

So here it is, I'm DONE trying to be DIVINE. As a matter of fact we should all quit trying to be divine.

 My observation is this: "spiritual" people forget that they are just people like the rest of us, especially when they are giving advice.

Most of us have heard the phrase "too heavenly minded to be any earthly good" but no one told me that it can sneak up on you. I was a chaplain this summer in hospice care. My goal was to bring hope and comfort to those in a difficult time. And isn't that what anyone truly wants when hard times hit? HOPE?? Well all the advice and spiritual thinking in the world does no good to someone staring at death and disease, or stumbling through Alzheimer's or dementia. Honestly it does no good for anyone who feels no control over their life or the situation. So what is the solution? How do you provide hope? It is amusingly simple. Be yourself. Be confused, be unsure, but ABOVE ALL just be present with them. If I may share some advice and issue a challenge at the same time: it is not the divine-ness of your answers that will comfort people. It will be in your own humanness and craziness. So be human. Let your craziness hang out, and don't be afraid of rejection. Sometimes people need to excise some control during a time when they feel they have none.

Most excellent Theophilus

1 Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile an account of the things accomplished among us, 2 just as they were handed down to us by those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and servants of the word, 3 it seemed fitting for me as well, having investigated everything carefully from the beginning, to write it out for you in consecutive order, most excellent Theophilus; 4 so that you may know the exact truth about the things you have been taught. - Luk 1:1-4 NASB




Have you ever noticed that when someone is telling a story about a situation you were present for it never turns out quite the way you remembered it? Of course you do, it's a rhetorical question. It happens all the time. The story shifts from person to person. From perspective to perspective. From motivation to motivation.


There are few things that get under my skin more than telling the wrong facts from a story or situation. I cannot explain how much I squirm and writhe under the sound of such wrongness. But what goes beyond simply telling it badly or leaving out the facts is altering a story just to make it funnier or to evoke some emotion from a listener that could otherwise not be had because of the truth of the matter.


I notice this quite often. Today in fact, when I sat a listened to a friend recount the events of yesterday's weekly get together, I noticed how they chose to remember the happenings. Emphasis was placed on key things that were said, things that I saw as nothing out of the ordinary aside from minor bumps between friends. Don't get me wrong, this was not a mudslinging party or slander-fest, it was just one person recanting what they felt were the more important details. I found this most intriguing that they would emphasize certain things over other things and disconcerting that some things got changed outright. Their motivation as far as I could tell was to acquire pity from the listener. I find this upsetting. I hate the alteration of the facts to shape the outcome. I understand the need sometimes to reshape its presentation but don't touch the actual facts themselves.


Perhaps this is why I am so fond of how Luke opens.  "...to write it out for you in consecutive order, most excellent Theophilus; 4 so that you may know the exact truth about the things you have been taught." That makes me so very happy to read. That someone has taken the time to collect the facts in order to know the exact truth. How lucky were you most excellent Theophilus that such time and care was taken.


Recently seminary has been putting me through the ringer in regards to inerrancy and compilation of scripture. It seems such a mess of debate and opinion. It's like digging a well with just a shovel, sure you need the water but there's only so far you can go until you start piling the dirt on top of yourself. Likewise in my pursuit for answers I feel this burden of unanswered questions being added to by the discovery of more unanswered questions. Honestly it is hopeless in my own strength.


But I take heart in the one revelation I have had, God has taken care to "write it out in consecutive order". He is the ONE ultimate author and as such I can work from the premise that He, being intentional, has put those things before me for a reason. So now it can be, "what are you trying to show me Father?" Instead of, "what isn't from you God?" Now I find myself feeling like Theophilus, and am one step closer to getting out of this hole.


And as for my friends, I'll just have to learn how to gracefully extend my help.

Different Edges

Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17


I have always quoted this verse with a very common visual image of someone scraping two pieces of metal against one another. True this could be left right where it is and still get a point across. But recently I have realized how shallow a view this is. 


No two relationships are the same. Yes there are similarities within a group of friends, similar likes and common interests etc., but there are certain interactions, mannerisms, understandings that differ from person to person within that group. Never do I or any of them change who they are from relationship to relationship but each one comes with its own nuances. 


Likewise, it is NOT always iron on iron. Each relationship has a different edge to it. Some may be rougher-more direct, to wear down and confront those stubborn tips or habits. Some are finer, not as abrasive to be able to smooth everything even. Some buff and polish with a gentle firmness to get that nice crisp edge. And some polish, they help bring out that glossy shine and put that final touch on ya. 


Question is then, who are your edges? What types of edges do you allow to rub against you? Do they sharpen you? or do they wear you down? And once you find those edges/relationships do you invest that time necessary to remain sharp? Also this goes hand in hand with being open and honest enough to admit what time of edge you are being, do you sharpen or wear down? 


Truly we all have times where we need to be sharpened, don't be hard on yourself when they come. Just always remember to return the favor with grace and mercy. 

Toes that can't hold spoons

11 For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe's people, that there are quarrels among you. 12 Now I mean this, that each one of you is saying, "I am of Paul," and "I of Apollos," and "I of Cephas," and "I of Christ." 13 Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? - 1Cr 1:11-13 NASB

It is a funny thing that even from the beginning we just had to decide who was more right and who was more wrong. How far have we truly come in two thousand years? Since the beginning of the Church we have, as a whole, sought to be the "greatest amongst" one another. This has largely been done by means of proclaiming that one holds a greater truth than another. "I have the greatest understanding of Christ! He obviously was like this, and spoke this way, and did these things.. blah blah blah.." We obsess with being the first to know, or the one to know the most. We fight and squabble over these details. We draw lines in the sand. We are more ready to separate when there is disagreement than to reconcile. 


My generation has decided that they are revolutionaries and they constantly run off and start a new church when the old one has 'dried up.' Has no one done this before?! We don't need another reformation! We need reconciliation. When things stray from the truth we need people who are willing to do the harder thing and attempt to making changes within and not decide to go outside and start something completely 'new'. 


I realize that there are cases when this is unavoidable, but this is becoming a default choice instead of a last resort. I hate divisions. It makes it harder to find the truth when people are not willing to discuss the problems. Have we forgotten that we are a body with many members? Some see things differently, some expect different things, some have different priorities, some value some expressions of worship over others, etc. Big deal, we should grow from this, not become divided. Denominations have become Divisions, and instead of confronting one another in love, we just simply love to confront one another. And we still find a body that points fingers at toes and accuses them that they are holding the spoon wrong.